How to start the post thats the biggest hurdle I always face while blogging about anything...
Anyways a lots have been happening around me and since its two days since I got net connection in my room I hope to be regular around here... I have shifted to a new house now and its real good... had been living in a pigeon hole kinda house for the past few months since I joined and this house is at least double the size of the previous one... But the best part about the house I like is its proximity to the airport (many people's reaction to this would be are u nuts.... how can u live besides airport and be happy with the noise from planes driving u nuts wen u try to sleep or study for that matter).... but i like it here because airport is the only place in this city which is open 24*7 and i can go for tea or sutta(this thing hadn't been included in the draft version i wrote, but i think its high time that i stopped worrying about others and live the life my way) anytime in the night as i used to in the final year of college...
The life has changed a lot in the past 8 months since i passed out and i have changed myself too in many ways.... But a human being I think can't change himself come whatever may be the situation. He remains the same inside... and that does reflect at the talks I have at airport with the best pal of mine... thank god he lives close by ..
We still talk about the good looking babes that come to airport (this being one of the reason we go there and this was the thing that wouldn't have been possible at the thanjavur bus stand).... about our career paths... how confused I still am about me, my life my relations and what not.... I have made many good friends in the past 8 months, lost touch with so many of them, discussed many things with people who are just there (not total strangers, I won't be able to do that in this lifetime) that I would not have discussed with anybody in this world.... I still get excited about little things in life which give me pleasure and I still get offended at many little things.... I have changed I know, at least exteriorly but i have stopped giving myself the time I deserve , many things hogging my mind....
This post is going nowhere and I look very confused about what I want to write but I just want to write today to get everything out of my system... There is one thing in my life that I really can not face and that is rejection. In the past 4 days I have had two and from completely different spheres of life and it has shattered me too much... the confidence level is low... I have not been able to concentrate on my work and my life is going no where... The decisions I have taken has screwed up my life and I am running some three months late on my plans and since I am not doing anything life is getting screwed up all the more... I have to stop people taking advantage of me, my naivety, my generous nature... I high time I became different( I need to defy my own words that a person doesn't change because I want to... Its really tough for me to say no to people, almost next to impossible but I have to start doing it.... I think the two rejections I have had will influence my life in a very positive manner and I'll make sure that happens....
There is a new chapter opening up in my life... my first on site trip is beckoning me and since I would have nobody for company I can spend some quality time with myself, discuss the my life, my career, my relationships... because when it comes to real things that are close to my heart I can't talk about them with anybody else in the whole wide world... just me... at least I can give some time to myself to understand me....
One more thing is that I would be very regular with my blogs now... It is very good that i am writing today all these stuff... at least the thought process I would have devoted to the trivial matters in my life can be discussed here...
this post turned out to be entirely different then what I intended it to be and I am real glad that I have written down this stuff... anyways i don't want people to be judgmental on this and even if they are i have stopped caring... and if people read it or not I don't give a damn because this blog is for me and not for others.....